Would you care for some opinion with your beer?

Turns out I talk too much.
Turns out I voice my opinion too much.
Turns out I listen too much.

Noone told me this, I've had an epiphany.
There has to be a happy median.

Next time you are "having a conversation" make a note of some key elements of the conversation.
1) The topic: why we converse.
2) What is being said (if you are the listener) and conversely What are you trying to say (if you are the speaker).
3) Response: how you react to what is being said, or what the reaction is to what you say.
4) Continuation from step 1: either the topic is the same, or you move along until you eventually start talking about the weather (ie conversation is now dead).

Now, how much do you participate in each part.

• Do you have something to say (and does it really apply to the topic);
• do you (really) listen;
• do you do only one;
• do you do both; or
• none of the above.

What bugs me, is there is no happy median. My epiphany is non-existent with a few exceptions. Let me tell you about that since I have your attention.

Think about these questions right now, and think about these questions the next time you are "engaging in conversation" with someone.

1. Do you really care about what people are talking to you about? (besides entertainment value, or you need to know what is being said for work or perhaps school)
2. Does this person really care what I have to say?
3. Does this person really know what they are talking about? (full of shit/stretching the truth/just want to be heard)
4. (How or) Will this be important in the near future?
5. What is the reason (motive) behind the conversation?
6. Can you give some advice/your opinion? (...how honest do you want me to be/will that hurt you by knowing the truth?)
7. etc... etc... etc...

I guess this comes up in all areas of life. Why do we converse, exchange words?

My example is from being a bartender. (Remember this the next time you go anywhere and talk to staff.)

There's a guy named Mark (not my buddy Marc, I like when my friends come in) that comes in and sits down at the bar. Annoying as fuck, but a nice guy. Let me tell you why.

If you come to me when I am working, I will listen to your story, and I will listen with genuine interest. The next time you come in, I know who you are and where you are coming from. We can now have a conversation based on what I know, and what you know I know about you.

Now here's where Mark comes into the picture.

He continues to talk,.... and talk. This is not a conversation. This is wanting to be heard, and this is where I have to draw the line. When someone talks your ear off with no point to the 'conversation' you lose interest and fast.

I'm a bartender because it is my job title. I give you wicked service ("cheap" drinks for friends), and I get paid minimum wage & gratuities based on that service.

Psychologists have a degree and it is their job to listen to life problems. They get paid in the hundreds of dollars per day (hour?).

To put it out there, if you come into my work I will listen to you talk, so long as you give me $75 for every hour that you sit there, otherwise I don't give two shits (unless you are a friend of course). That's cheaper than a shrink, I'll still feed you drinks, and I'll even look interested.

Anyways, that was a long story, thanks for sticking around for it.

Your next drink is on the house for listening to my one-sided 'conversation.'